This morning I was grumpy as fuck. I don’t know why, i just was. Apparently I thought watching porn in the morning would be a good way to pick up my mood. I think it worked. As I was watching (alone) I wondered if there are some people out there who see porn and think that they’re actually getting valuable sex tips. I wanted to clarify things for those people. If you’re under 18, you should stop reading.
For those who don’t like to use toys or outfits in your sex life, you should try watching porn. At the very least it opens up the conversation about what you do and don’t like, if you’re too nervous to bring it up otherwise. Girl on girl porn is fantastic, but try to include a cock every now and then.
1. Pussy to ass but never back again. No matter tongue, finger or dick you can go pussy to ass but not the other way around. If you do, your girl will get an infection faster than you can say steponmyballsooohbabyilikeit. This rule does not apply in the shower if soap is readily available.
2. Just because you can get into a crazy position doesn’t mean you should. There is nothing sexy about an acrobatic spider.
3. From behind is fun but you’re not going to make her cum. Get back there, take charge. Slap her ass, she’ll like it but unless you’re doing a reach around you won’t make her cum. If she yells out “I’m cumming!” enjoy it, but know it’s a lie.
4. Sex in the shower is bullshit. Water is the opposite of a lubricant and positioning is awkward. Shower foreplay is great but take it to the bedroom. Get those sheets wet, it will be worth it.
5. If she’s a strong minded decision maker in real life she probably wants to be dominated in the bedroom. Don’t have any toys? Ties, scarves and belts are a hot start.
6. If you’re going to try anal sex, wear a condom. Oh and use some lube. Just do it.
7. Men, wish you had a giant porn star dick? Don’t. Giant dicks get an amazing blow job on the tip, the rest is just getting sloppily shoved down her throat with no suction and she’s just trying not to gag.
8. Men, think you’re good at oral sex? You probably aren’t. More than likely she is faking. A faker doesn’t mean she doesn’t like you, or isn’t having a good time of course, but wouldn’t you rather make her cum for real? This is a long read but I guarantee it is worth every moment you spend reading and practicing. She will tell her friends of your greatness. https://worldtracker.org/media/library/Health/Sex/SheComesFirst.pdf
9. Think manscaping is just for porn stars? It’s not. If you’re not going to shave, please trim. She’s doing it and so should you. The full bush is out.
10. Women get hot from watching you touch yourself. Everyone knows that guys love to watch a girl masturbate, but the reverse is also true. It will give her some tips on how you like to be touched and she won’t be able to resist getting involved.
11. Talk dirty. Every girl wants a gentlemen in real life but a dominating dirty talking man in the bed is hot as fuck. Tell her what you want to do to her. Swear. Pull her hair. Choke her a bit (shit, maybe don’t do that unless you really know that’s what she likes) I’ve said too much.
Go forth and be sexy as fuck.