August 28, 2014: visit an organic historical garden

If you’ve begun reading this after what I deem to be a very dull subject line, thank you and well done.

Today I went on a tour of a very large garden created to be historically accurate to around 1850. The purpose of the tour was to gain some knowledge about heirloom local plants to better inform our community rooftop garden for next years season. We were extremely fortunate that our historic interpreter for the tour just so happens to be the lead on several well known community gardens in the city so I was able to gain a valuable networking opportunity.

The garden was absolutely beautiful and made me wish I had a much larger piece of land around my house. Oh the things I would do! Despite my
Thought that I am slightly more horticulturally savvy than the average person I learned a lot of new things. Here are some lovely gardens pics

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Unfortunately one of my clients arrived for the tour under the influence and did a hard leaning stumble to the right followed by a hard leaning stumble to the left and in a horrific slow motion straight bodied fall landed right on top of an organic heirloom patch of cabbage. Aside from that, great tour.

August 25, 2014: leave a Facebook group I enjoy

Today was my first day back to work since my trip to crazy town last month. I had terrifying dreams last night, began my morning with an Ativan to calm me down and ended my workday with a glass of wine.

The day itself wasn’t particularly bad really, but for me who likes being organized, being off work is almost as bad as being at work because you miss out on so much. Countless emails and pending appointments, groups and events. I dislike not feeling in control and knowledgeable. I also realized today that I had zero interest in speaking with my clients which is rather a pity since it’s my job and all. I should really look into that career of hugging farm animals. Professional hugger. That could be me. Think of all the plaid button up shirts I could buy.

My return home from work brought dishes, a back to school shoe shopping trip to the mall and a shave of my sons head in efforts to eliminate what I believe to be lice. Once that was sorted I hopped on my Facebook and saw a feed filled with depressed imgurians seeking support. I love browsing imgur and had been enjoying a group of 4,000ish like minded people until the groups became about 50% funny and 50% severely depressed and suicidal members seeking support. One might think Id be a bit more sympathetic to such things and I am but the truth is it’s exhausting. Caring is hard and tiring work and I’m exhausted enough already. Everything I do is exhausting and sometimes you have to look out for yourself. And so I chose to leave a group of nice people that needed help because I’m just too tired to help.

My only saving grace for the evening was the three episodes of the inbetweeners I watched. That show can make me laugh more than anything else right now. North American tv should really learn from the English. They are fucking funny. Bollocks. Wanker. Piss.

August 24, 2014: Visit a Donkey Sanctuary

i had no idea that there were so many donkeys that were in need of sanctuary but apparently there are. People purchase donkeys as guard animals (who knew?!) for their property and when the donkeys fail to guard the properties as expected they are physically abused.  Plus some people are just assholes and abuse their animals regardless of what they were intended for. There are a small number of donkeys that were not abused but were submitted to the sanctuary because their owners could no longer care for the. 

The greeter:

donkey nose

 

Most of the donkeys were very friendly, but some were still shy and not trusting of humans even years after they had been taken out of their abusive homes. 

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Since you can’t see my face, here are a couple of me and my donkey besties….

donkey pets donkey me

They had some mules too (half horse/half donkey). Once you go black………..

once you go black.....

I’ve decided I want to live on a farm and spend my days hugging animals. 

August 23,2014: play a drinking game, alone…. In the afternoon

I’m pretty sure this will be the most awesome thing I have ever done. Drink: check.

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Make a paper mustache and tape to the tv :check

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Now I start watching Netflix and every time the mustache lines up with a face I drink. Fantastic pictures to be added as available of said mustache/face lineup
Literally no one will ever get drunk playing this game. I think I need to centralize my mustache.

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So fucking close:

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A hitler mustache would be wrong right?

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I may consider taking this up a notch to double ‘stache
Update: the double ‘stache is hard. Actually if I’m honest, I’m just drinking anyway. The mustache is just an added bonus.
Look what I found in the backyard? Some four legged bastard has been stealing from the garden!!!!!

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I just realized I haven’t got the bill yet for my mandatory ambulance ride last month. Was it last month? I forget. They nght have sent it to the address that I moved from. I wonder if you don’t pay those if they go to collection? Surely not.

Well, it’s official. Double mustache doesn’t work. Don’t do it. Just get drunk, watch Netflix and order pizza like a normal person.

August 22, 2014: 50 Things about me

Do you remember those 50 (or 100) Questions quizzes that used to go around via email back in the mid 90’s? They were once popular and still circulate every now and then. I have always loved reading other’s and sharing my own even though I know many people find them irritating.  For those who find them irritating, I chose a 50 Questions one instead of 100.  You’re welcome. 

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Nope.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
Two weeks ago maybe? Probably less, I’m pretty moody.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Cursive, no, printing yes.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
cheese. 

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
Two, boy and a girl. When mad a me my son yells, my daughter hisses. 

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Hells yes. 

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
no (yes)

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
yes

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
I’m scared of heights, but maybe.  

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
This shows how old I am but I like granola mixed with apple sauce. 

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
Hells no.

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
Interesting question, physically or mentally?  Probably no to both.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Orange Sherbet in a waffle cone. 

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
If they make me laugh.

15. RED OR PINK?
Again interesting question.  That depends.  I hate the colour for red for clothes, I do no own any red clothes. With that said my next hair colour (September 13th) is going to be a very vibrant red. Did I answer that question?  Um, pink?

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
That I always want to be happy but sometimes I can’t be. 

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?

I veto

18. WHAT IS THE SPARK FEATURE THAT HAS HELPED YOU THE MOST?
What the fuck is a Spark feature?  Where is this quiz from anyway?! 

19. WHAT COLOR SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
barefeet with hot pink nail polish. 

20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
spinach and artichoke dip with warmed pita triangles.

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
Hozier.  If you don’t know them you are not living life to the fullest right now.  Please listen immediately. 

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
black

23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
freshly cut grass, citrus fruits

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
my aunt. 

25. MOUNTAIN HIDEAWAY OR BEACH HOUSE?
Beach Bitch! 

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
MMA

27. HAIR COLOR?
What colour is it naturally?  Dark brown but it’s never actually that colour.

28. EYE COLOR?
blue

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
no, I’m scared to touch my eyeball. 

30. FAVORITE FOOD?
Just one?  That’s hard. Olives?  That’s more of a topping than a food really but I’m sticking with it. 

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
happy endings

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
Despicable Me.

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Heather grey tank top.

34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
summer (look how beautiful that word looks written out, all low and pretty)

35. HUGS OR KISSES?

Depends on the situation.

36. FAVORITE DESSERT?
Fruit cobbler, homemade obviously.

37. STRENGTH TRAINING OR CARDIO?
ew.

38. COMPUTER OR TELEVISION?
computer

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
A moveable Feast by Ernest Hemmingway is sitting on my nightstand so it’s next on my list but right now i’m in magazine land. 

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
What is this, the 90’s?

41. ANY TATTOOS?
Three. Two with meaning, one without.

42. FAVORITE SOUND?
a familiar song.

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
Beatles.

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
England.

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
Being awesome.

46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
This takes away from the anonymity of this blog so I’ll make this one up.  I was born on a warm sunny day on the coast of Spain.

47. WHERE ARE YOU LIVING NOW?
See ablove. 

48. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR HOUSE?
red brick mostly. 

49. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR CAR?
my car is the bus. 

50. ANY PETS?
two fat old cats, one young handsome cat and one annoying old barky dog. 

 

51: Let’s talk about your phone (I made this up because I wanted to talk about my phone)

I have an iphone 4 that is three years and five months old.  It is the perfect size for my small hands but it is starting to give up on life.  Opening the Facebook app is like connecting to dial-up, it takes at least 30 seconds to load.  This is not an over exaggeration, I wish it was. Sometimes once I’m in an app it just decides it can’t do it anymore and closes. No matter how many apps I delete it doesn’t function any faster.  It’s old, it’s tired. It’s had a good life. I am desperate for a new one but the iphone 5’s are still more money than I want to spend and I love iphone’s too much to switch platforms. I’m hoping that the iphone 6 will come out very soon and drop the price of the iphone 5. I have zero interest in an iphone 6, unless the camera is ridiculously better than the iphone 5, that will be the only thing that will win me over.  I feel badly speaking ill of my phone now, it will probably purposely die to spite me. 

August 21, 2014: Create a bee and butterfly friendly yard

Some people might call my yard a bit of a mess, and the truth is, it is a mess.  There are little trees growing where there shouldn’t be, thanks to the squirrels who bury and lose their nuts and there are weeds and plenty of them.  I like my yard to be natural and wild to attract all sorts of creatures.  We have two chipmunks, a ridiculous amount of squirrels, some raccoons and a myriad of nesting birds. Despite my best efforts to keep things natural, there is still more work to be done to attract pollinators such as bees and butterflies to my yard.

I have two apple trees that are about six years old and for the first time, this year they did not bare any fruit. This spring was cool and did not bring many bees.  After the harsh winter and ongoing problems with colony collapse disorder (which is now mostly being blamed on the use of pesticides) Ontario is estimated to have lost 60% of it’s bee populations this winter.  For the  plants that require pollination to grow their fruits and vegetables this an increasing problem.  Bees are not the only pollinators, but they are the most efficient ones.  I’m not a bee expert and don’t know the difference between a honeybee, bumblebee or mason bee, but I do know that I need more bees.  I have lots of flowers that attract bees but I could still use more.  I’ll work on expanding my flower varieties next year.They especially love my wild mint:

bee mint

I ordered a little mason bee house online from http://www.masonbeehomes.com/  Look how happy he is with his bee houses!  They are best placed facing morning sun and in a wind protected spot… I did the best I could with that.  Here is my house.  

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I hope that if not this year for hibernation then in the in spring my house will have some new guests. 

Although bees are the most efficient pollinators, butterflies also do their pretty little best to help out. This year I have had quite a few different varieties of butterflies around but absolutely none of the once populous monarch butterfly. The main host plant for monarchs to lay their eggs is the milkweed.  Milkweed is a common sight in rural areas but not urban ones.  I’ve never seen any for sale so I stole some from my parent’s house.  It must have come with an egg on it already because after a couple of weeks, look!

monarch caterpillar

Not much will happen with it this year but in the spring i expect they will grow taller and spread and hopefully they will have some butterflies of their own. 

If I don’t get any apples next year I’m going to be pissed. 

 

 

 

 

 

August 20, 2014: A very merry un-birthday to me. To me?! To me!!!!!!

Last weekend I was out with some friends and we were talking about Facebook and all of the “friends” we tend to keep.  Over the past couple of years I have done at least two major “friend” purges.  The first began with the removal of about 30 work colleagues because some areas of ones life are best kept with your nearest and dearest colleagues, not all of them. There are some people in this world who will offer you cupcakes and compliments to your face and then stab you in the back the moment you turn around.  I’m okay with that now though, I’ve removed all of that from my life. 

In our topic of Facebook friends we talked about purging and how one decides who to get rid of.  A friend put it very well I think….If you saw someone in real life on your friends list and your reaction would be to hide or avoided having to talk to them for real, you should probably remove them from your “friends” list.  I mentioned that I had removed my birthday from Facebook last year to avoid all the mandatory generic Happy Birthday wishes from people I don’t usually talk to. The conversation veered toward putting a fake birthday on Facebook and using it as a tool to purge, anyone who wishes you a Happy Birthday gets unfriended.  

Today was my unbirthday.  At first I almost felt a little guilty because the people who started wishing me a happy birthday are people that I actually really do like and who legitimately wouldn’t know when my birthday was. Some people messaged me privately and were a little confused and some people just went with it knowing full well it wasn’t my birthday. I was a little surprised by one friend that I’ve known for probably 15 years who’s birthday is the day after mine.  He wished me a Happy Birthday and I’m certain that it wasn’t a joke. We’ve often celebrated our birthdays together, really? Really?! It  doesn’t bother me though.  People have forgotten my birthday before and I’m confident that I have forgotten theirs as well.  It doesn’t mean we’re not good people or good friends..  I think I’ll keep my unfriending to those who I would hide from in public and those who are assholes. 

One thing I am a little disappointed about is that nobody bought me a damn cake.  Birthday or unbirthday, I want some mother fucking cake.