Day 120: Go out for lunch with people you usually wouldn’t

This probably doesn’t seem like a big deal for the average person however for me it can be.  For the first few years that I was at my current job there was a group of us that would always spend our breaks and lunches together but as the years went by I started spending more and more time at my desk. Somewhere along the line I became antisocial and me spending my lunch or breaks with anyone became a rare event.  People stopped asking me to join them because I always said no.  I don’t blame them of course, it was a fruitless endeavor. 

Now I will occasionally go out and pick up lunch with one person in particular but that is about as ambitious as I get. Today I was asked to join a small group of three people for lunch (luckily one of them is that person that I will occasionally go out with) My instinct reaction was to say no but I thought better of it and agreed to go.  These people are not strangers, I know them so I shouldn’t have even considered saying no but I’m just so accustomed to it.  I’m comfortable with me. I like me. I’m good people. I went and the earth didn’t open up and swallow me whole, we ate and had a good time. Imagine that. 

On the way back one of the girls told me she thought I was very confident for the new things I try with my hair, the clothes I wear and the fact that I can comfortably go out to a restaurant and eat alone and that she wished she could do the same. It’s funny how little things like that can give you such a nice boost when sometimes you feel like you’re just simply surviving. 

Day 119: Explore an alternative education school

Over the years I’ve seen students class sizes increase and the creatives subjects such as art and music decrease all in the name of cost cutting. The children are made to peddle chocolates, jewelry and wrapping paper in order to earn the money required for classroom supplies. I can’t pinpoint exactly when the government decided that children were no longer something they should be investing in but they’re making a mistake. Whitney Houston says it best: “I believe that children are our future” 

The city I live in offers a program that covers all the necessary curriculum but adds an additional focus on the arts and global education and tonight I attended an information session to learn more about it. They have partnered with the city’s art gallery for regular visits and they also host a curated art opening for the children on site. They celebrate world holidays, learn respect and understanding for cultures and religion, they raise salmon and release them to spawning beds, care for a large park which includes a butterfly garden and a large drama component to foster confidence, In order to assist with the increased amount of field trips and activities parents are required to volunteer 5-10 hours/month.  There are many options including at home work for those anti-social parents. They leverage the knowledge base of the parents and use them to assist by sharing their skills and employment (ie. artists, police officers etc). The only fundraising that occurs is a once a year licensed, djed event with a silent auction. The planning committee for that event holds their meetings at a well known pub (owned by a parent of a former student) and enjoys free booze. Let’s be honest, the school had me at free booze. 

There are a few problems with this school however.  The first is that it is out of catchment  from the kids current home which would mean transportation and the school has no before or after school care.  This would be impossible for full time employed parents to manage on their own. The other option is moving.  As a child the only time I moved it was so close by that we didn’t need a truck we just carried our things to the larger townhouse unit across the driveway. I can understand that a move for a child must be traumatic with having to leave friends and comfort behind but I think kids adapt easily to that.  Or maybe they don’t… I wouldn’t know.  The moving part also concerns me because I think the market is artificially inflated right now and I’d be concerned about getting into a situation where a mortgage is greater than the true value of the asset itself. I have a curiosity about real estate and am very frequently checking what’s available even if I have no intentions of buying. It is certainly not a buyer’s market right now. 

Maybe I should focus instead on bringing the changes I wish to see in the curriculum to the school that my children current attend.  Be the change you want to see in the world and all that shit. 

Other off topic random thoughts:

1. The bureaucracy of working in government can be incredibly frustrating sometimes.  Today when hearing of a potential new policy I told my supervisor ” They can fire me, I’m not doing it. That policy can suck my dick”. Luckily we have an excellent working relationship and understanding. 

2. I spent some time thinking today about people who are in jobs that they are ill suited for.  I remember the time a year and a halfish ago when I was in the emergency psychiatric ward of the hospital when a nurse asked me if I was on my period because that can sometimes have an effect on mood.  Yes you stupid cunt, my period told me to kill myself. #justgirlthings.  A couple of weeks ago I met with the return to work specialist to discuss accommodations to reduce my absenteeism in future.  Her suggestion for me who has anxiety and depression?  I should look at pictures of baby animals on my break.