Another night home and not feeling great. My days at work have been good so I don’t understand what happens to me when I get home. Maybe I just become mentally exhausted and give up.
I had another idea of what to do tonight but it seemed to involve more energy than I cared to expend and so I chose this. I went to Netflix, closed my eyes, scrolled and clicked. I ended up selecting “Diana” which I didn’t realize even existed as a film. Im delighted to have found it.
When I was younger I spent a week at a cottage with my aunt and uncle which was only accessible by boat. The cottage had various reading materials that I used as an excuse to be alone. One of them was a magazine all about princess Diana, her clothes, her jewels and her charity work. I loved reading it and looking over the pictures. After that summer I read more books and watched more shows about her. I remember when she died I was having a party at my place because my parents were away. We were young and drunk when it came on the tv. We sat on the floor, watched and might have even cried.
I’m enjoying it because it reminds me of a time when I was interested in something and happy.
This is yesterday’s post because I was feeling shitty last night and couldn’t be bothered.
I kept a diary for most of high school, some college and a few random entries from adulthood. The entries from high school are completely ridiculous and it was hard not to cringe. The adulthood ones I didn’t want to read because some of it’s a bit unpleasant and too real for me.
For your entertainment and my embarrassment I give you a few random selections. (Names changed obviously)
“Today in art I got to correct Ferdinand’s test. He didn’t do very well but who cares about the stupid colour wheel.”
“Ferdinand looked really good today. He was wearing a lack Buffalo t-shirt, blue jams and a white dukes hat. I saw his eyes up close, there really nice green-blue.”
“Chloe is always having cows over nothing”
“While we were gone my mom asked Bridgette to watch my fish. When I came back he had hardly any water and what he did have was dirty. Now he’s dead. And I know she did it.”
” today Philip wore black and white stripes and a necklace. When I walked by he put his hand trough his hair. Ahh! He’s so awesome!!!!!!!”
” well I have a new coat it’s suede it’s got big coloured stripes and a hood. Philip has a purple suede coat with a hood 2! I can’t believe we have so much in commun!”
” the pet store is a great way to meet sweet, sensitive and cute guys”
1994 was boring and I didn’t start writing again until 1997. It gets too explicit then and I don’t think anyone could handle it :)