Day 133: Steal something from work

Some people work places for years and very slowly siphon (what a fantastic looking word) off bits of money to themselves until they’ve amassed a small fortune.  Some people are very frugal and do their “shopping” at work and never need to buy toilet paper. I steal Max-catch mouse & insect glue traps. 

Yesterday I noticed four bites on me that weren’t there the day before.  Three of the four were positioned in the breakfast, lunch and dinner triangle. If you’ve ever had bed bugs or worked in a field that is knowledgeable about them you’ll know what I’m talking about. For those fortunate enough to have had no experience, bed bugs often bite in a series of three (breakfast, lunch and dinner) and in straight lines. I panicked and had myself convinced I had bed bugs.  This is of course what anxious people do.  They play out the worst possible scenario in their heads and imagine that it’s true. I checked my bed and was satisfied that it was bed bug free. I decided that maybe it was a spider or a reaction to something. I didn’t think anymore about it until I woke up this morning with two more bites. FAACCCK!  Another bed check, still okay. Again, my brain led me to every possible scenario.  Maybe my cat has fleas or maybe I have bed bugs at work (wouldn’t be the first time). Someone at work suggested it might have been from the squirrel or it was body lice (oh god!) I have thankfully ruled out the body lice.  In my paranoia and quest to seek out the culprit I got two glue traps for my work area, one I left under my desk and the other I left on my chair. I needed to rule out my place from the scenario and so I brought home two more traps.  I rationalize it being okay to bring them home because if I did have bed bugs there is a 90% chance I brought them home from work. One to go between my mattress and sheet and the second will go under my couch cushion. Maybe the couch has something, it’s too dark to see anything on it. I can’t stop scratching.

My head has been itchy the last week or so and I’ve got lice paranoia as well.  I’ve been going through my hair with a knit comb on a daily basis.  My sink is full of hair. Oh god I’m so itchy.  It’s time to do another compulsive combing of my hair. 

Day 132: try to do 18 push-ups

That probably seems like a peculiar number but it made sense to me. I was speaking with a coworker today who is about 20 years my senior about our job and it’s effect on our mental health. We talked about the times when we feel we just can’t go on and sometimes have trouble getting out of bed. I feel like I’ve passed that bump but others are just arriving there. We focused on the good things and right now and the best thing for her was that for the first time in her life she was able to do 18 push-ups. To her face I praised her and kept on about her accomplishments but in my head I thought she’s 23 years older than me, I should be able to do 18 damn push-ups. I waited all day to start. I psyched myself up for the event, took a deep breath and got down to it. I made it to four before half heartedly yelling “oh god” and collapsing to the floor. I have a problem. That problem is called I eat shitty foods and don’t go to the gym.

Today work went well. I was in a meeting this afternoon where I knew that as usual my opinion was not a popular one. I was certain that I was making everyone annoyed by the sound of my voice but after the meeting the director thanked me for my honesty and efficiency. It’s kind of funny because there was a time not so long ago that I didn’t want to go to work because I couldn’t handle it. Now it seems like I don’t want to come home because I can’t handle it. Life, sometimes you a crazy bitch.