My day started in chaos and ended in peace .
This morning’s shower was again met with hydro interuptus. I was cold, wet and angry so I said “suck a dick” to no one in particular. I think saying that helped. I recommend it.
In order to again find some sort of peace I decided tonight I should go back to yoga. I’ve been a handful of time’s and I enjoy it. There are some very unique individuals there whom I find quite amusing. The workout is always good and relaxing too of course. I try to focus during the opening meditations but I often find myself day dreaming when we get to the “notice the space behind your ears and soften it” part. The studio is in a former drink and dessert place that I used to go to. While I’m laying on the floor I like to remember how clear the glass counter was with all those tall, rich and gorgeous cakes behind it. I thought about the last time I was there, what table I sat at and how excited I was to see my cake carried over to me with a long, skinny and shiny fork. I like cake. Although I didn’t get there early enough to put my mat in my preferred location, it was still a good session. But of course I’ve been to yoga, so there was nothing new about that. What was new for today was that I stayed after the yoga session for the chanting session.
I had no idea what to expect. Before it started, a blanket went to the middle of the room with some candles, a hand sculpture and a big bird feather on it. Even though there was plenty of room, a woman sat about six inches from me and introduced herself. It was a good test of my personal space boundaries. I don’t like to be face to face at close proximity with anyone because all I can think about is breathing in their gross exhaled air. I leaned back as much as I could without seeming rude. A woman called Heartsong sat on the other side of me. I could not make this shit up. I seemed to be the only person there that was new. At first it seemed a lot like this:
I tried really hard not to look like this:
At one point after we had chanted “Shreem” for about the two hundredth time I started chanting “shroom” to see if anyone would notice. No one did. They handed out song sheets for the longer more complicated chants. Heartsong chants like a champ, she had an amazing voice and once we all got into it it was quite beautiful. The room was smudged with burning sage and in between chants we had a sharing circle. Some of the conversation flowed around devouring new opportunities and living in the present. Sometimes I would sneak a peak and would see people rocking back and forth or holding beads. Everyone there seemed really at peace with themselves and were friendly and kind. Chanting seems to soothe them, but personally I found it a bit strange. As I was leaving close sitter said “I hope you’ll come back again”. I forget what I said but it was probably something along the lines of “yeah it was great, see you next week”.