Day 104: do things without people asking

When someone dies there are a ridiculous amount of tasks to be completed. My dad has taken the lead and will not ask for help. There are some people that will never ask for help and will just do things that need doing. These types of people need to have others just do things, if you ask them if there’s anything you can do they will say no. You need to just take charge.

Yesterday I took over making the calls to the lawyer and various government agencies. I also went through a massive pile of photos to choose for the memorial service.

I was also in charge of caring for my grandmother that day. Naturally my grandmother is grieving but in addition to that she has a lot of guilt given the circumstances behind my grandfathers death. This made for an exhausting day. My grandmother also has a tendency to analyze every detail of every interaction she has with someone, over and over again. Her stories of mundane events are all transformed into what could be a Hollywood screenplay. She also falsely believes that a particular family member has stolen every single item that she cannot find so some of my day was spent searching for the missing items so I could stop hearing about the “thief”

By evening I needed a break so despite the cold and snow I went outside and made myself a fire. I had a beer (which I don’t even like) and sat quietly. A bald eagle flew overhead and a small herd of deer walked by, stopped to inspect me then moved along. A random dog came by and sat beside me to be petted then when he had enough he left. It was all very littlest hobo.



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