Let’s all take a moment and please be proud of me for staying away from facebook for about 44 hours. That’s a pretty big fucking deal for me actually as sad as that sounds. Maybe it’s not much to be proud of really, it was more avoidance than actually choosing to do something really productive with my day.
So one of my children got lice. AGAIN for about the fucking 20th time this year. I’m itchy just thinking about it. I’ve tried so many different methods to get rid of them and in the end the best one so far has been soaking in conditioner and combing out the little fuckers followed by a dousing in a bottle of coke to eat away the shells of the eggs. I’m pretty sure the classroom is just full of little lice having a little lice party every morning when the kids come back to school. As a follow up to the conditioner rinse I got a battery operated comb that alerts you by sound when it finds one and then it electrocutes it. It’s called the Robi-comb and it’s my new boyfriend. I probably should have been a little more cautious when putting a device on my child’s head that runs an electric current but I didn’t think twice. They wouldn’t sell it if it was dangerous right?! It is incredibly satisfying to hear, see and be responsible for the murders of those little fuckers. Obviously my paranoia made me use it on myself too, just as a precaution. Better safe than sorry. I recommend it for parents and to all the paranoid adults out there.