Day 152: Buy a self help book

After an all day team planning day I have learned a few things about myself.  The first is that I like people, but I like them individually.  As a group I can only sustain so much before I start to hate people. There was no escape, no where to go where there weren’t any people. Do you know what else I hate?  The term tools for a toolbox.  STFU about that already, I hate it and it makes me irrationally angry. There were a lot of people wearing flip flops today which mean I saw a lot of toes. Some toes I wish I hadn’t seen. The baby toe is really quite strange and unattractive. It’s stubby and has a weird curve to it. 

It was supposed to rain this afternoon so I wore jeans.  What did it do?  Sunny and 36 degrees. Thanks Obama. As soon as I walked in the door I took off all my clothes and stood in front of the air conditioner. 

Have you ever amicably dissolved a relationship yet find yourself completely unable to move on?  I don’t know how anyone ever goes through a breakup of a long term relationship and actually survives.  It’s pretty fucking amazing really. For various reasons you’ve decided that this is not a good match and everything screams at you that it’s time to move on but the very thought of that person being with someone else makes your stomach churn.  It’s completely unfair to say I don’t want to be with you but I don’t want anyone else to have you either.  Emotions are fucked up things.  I’m like one of those seagulls from Finding Nemo. Mine!

And so in an effort to remain sane and avoid becoming a lady who wears a bathrobe and curlers outside and yells at her cats, I’ve decided on a self help book. I am doing my shopping online, partially because I prefer shopping online and partly because there is no way I want to go into a bookstore and be seen standing amongst all of those losers buying self help books!

I wasn’t sure what to search so I typed in “How to move on”  Here is what I get:

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Jesus Christ, rub it in. It hurts SOOOO GOOOOOOD. This is just becoming sadder and sadder:

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Maybe?

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I don’t think I like where this is going:

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I’m actually starting to think this isn’t very helpful:

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So good news bad news.  Bad news is that the title of my blog for today is now actually a lie.  The good news is that I think I might be saner than I thought I was. 

 

 

 

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