Day 196: don’t be shellfish

That is supposed to be selfish, it was a typo but I liked it so I left it.
Yesterday was another bad day for me. I slept from 9:30am until about 4:30pm. When I’m feeling shitty I will often choose sleeping over curling up in a ball and crying because it makes the time go by and I don’t have to think about things. As usual I recognize that hibernation is an ineffective coping mechanism but I prefer it to the crying because there’s a least a chance I might have some nice dreams.

I had planned a birthday get together last night with some friends and was going to back out. When I’m in shut down mode I find it difficult to think about anyone except myself and simply surviving. At 4:30 though I somehow was able to acknowledge the disappointment and poor etiquette I would be displaying by not showing up. So I showered and got my ass on a bus to make it and put on a good show for everyone.

I deleted my two online dating profiles yesterday. Got 99 problems but online dating is not one of those aforementioned problems.

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