Last weekend I was out with some friends and we were talking about Facebook and all of the “friends” we tend to keep. Over the past couple of years I have done at least two major “friend” purges. The first began with the removal of about 30 work colleagues because some areas of ones life are best kept with your nearest and dearest colleagues, not all of them. There are some people in this world who will offer you cupcakes and compliments to your face and then stab you in the back the moment you turn around. I’m okay with that now though, I’ve removed all of that from my life.
In our topic of Facebook friends we talked about purging and how one decides who to get rid of. A friend put it very well I think….If you saw someone in real life on your friends list and your reaction would be to hide or avoided having to talk to them for real, you should probably remove them from your “friends” list. I mentioned that I had removed my birthday from Facebook last year to avoid all the mandatory generic Happy Birthday wishes from people I don’t usually talk to. The conversation veered toward putting a fake birthday on Facebook and using it as a tool to purge, anyone who wishes you a Happy Birthday gets unfriended.
Today was my unbirthday. At first I almost felt a little guilty because the people who started wishing me a happy birthday are people that I actually really do like and who legitimately wouldn’t know when my birthday was. Some people messaged me privately and were a little confused and some people just went with it knowing full well it wasn’t my birthday. I was a little surprised by one friend that I’ve known for probably 15 years who’s birthday is the day after mine. He wished me a Happy Birthday and I’m certain that it wasn’t a joke. We’ve often celebrated our birthdays together, really? Really?! It doesn’t bother me though. People have forgotten my birthday before and I’m confident that I have forgotten theirs as well. It doesn’t mean we’re not good people or good friends.. I think I’ll keep my unfriending to those who I would hide from in public and those who are assholes.
One thing I am a little disappointed about is that nobody bought me a damn cake. Birthday or unbirthday, I want some mother fucking cake.