November 18, 2014: ch ch ch chia

In case you haven’t noticed yet it’s Christmas out there. I think it started November 12th. Neighbours are putting up their decorations, stores are pumping up their stock and I even heard a Christmas song on the radio. I don’t have cable but I imagine the commercials are rampant. Depending on where you live its snowy and cold as Fuuuuuuuck. Postal outlets are delivering on Sundays now to keep up with holiday demand (I know this first hand because last week I had deliveries arriving almost everyday) Tis the season!!!!

I like to get my crafty on and make gifts on occasion. Today And yesterday I spent a significant amount of time painting. If you’re not crafty you should consider browsing etsy for some unique and awesome gifts. I made a list of some of my favourite etsy shops today….. I’d share it with you but I don’t know how.

While out shovel shopping today (remember it’s snowy and cold as fuck) I found a whole shelf of chia pets. Anyone who grew up in the 80s/90s is probably singing the commercial jingle right now: ch ch ch chia. If you’re too young to remember I suggest you YouTube it. While you’re at it, you might as well check out the old zoodles commercial too because it’s also awesome, although completely unrelated. I have wanted a chia pet for the past twenty years. Twenty years!!!!!! It’s not the kind of thing you can buy for yourself so I’ve never bought one. I wonder if someone else I know has also wanted one for the past twenty years and I have left their Christmas dream unfulfilled. Today I bought two. While shovel shopping I saw them and immediately realized they were perfect. Here they are:


You’re probably rolling your eyes or thinking lame, but no, they’re perfect.
Duck Dynasty chia: for my uncle.
He has a habit of giving peculiar/unique/ foul gifts. Two of the classics I’ve received over the years include an antique bedpan crafted into a giant candle and a coat rack with the hooks made from bent deer legs (yes real ones) he’s the kind of person who wraps your gift in duct tape. He also bears a striking resemblance to the duck dynasty men and is a faithful watcher of the show. Perfect.

Chia gnome: grandma.
My grandmother loves garden gnomes, she has a very large country lot with many gnomes set in various scenes. She prides herself on her garden although over the years her health has been poor so my grandpa did the gardening for her. Since he passed away earlier this year, she has a hard time enjoying her garden and her gnomes. Enter chia gnome. Perfect.

Ch ch ch chia.

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