March 13, 2015: try blue cheese and realize my anxiety isn’t all gone

Last night I went out with a friend who also has anxiety. We have a rule that if one of us needs to cancel, we accept without judgement or upset. Everyone knows the best plans are cancelled plans! Somehow even thought the plans were only made the day before, we both showed up! I didn’t feel anxious at all and was looking forward to it. Our first stop was a fabulous hipster bar where we shared a bottle of wine and a cheese board. The cheese board included blue cheese which I always say I don’t like but in fact have never tried. I tried it. It tastes like mold. It’s not good and I will never try it again.

Our evening carried on to multiple locations and several drinks were had. We were feeling fabulous.

I awoke after a few hours sleep in a full panic. I felt like I was having a mini heart attack for the next four hours. Right, yes. I still have an anxiety disorder and one of the triggers is alcohol. Fuck you anxiety raining on my happy parade. Now I’m going to try and work on figuring out the exact number of alcoholic beverages I can have before triggering a panic attack. I’m a scientist now. I drink for science!

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