July 22, 2015: happy one year failed suicide attempt anniversary to me!!!!

i didn’t remember the date but yesterday I started to wonder if it was coming up soon so I looked at my posts from last year and realized it was today. It really upset me and I had a very hard time focussing on work after that. I was worried that today would be hard but thankfully it wasn’t because I was distracted and busy. I should have gotten myself a celebratory cake. The icing could have said “you’re alive, way to go!” or “way to stay out of the crazy hospital for a full year!”. 

There has been a large time gap between the previous paragraph and this one. Starting to write this post is actually very unhelpful for me as it’s making me remember that day again and I don’t want to. I had planned to write more, about progress and positive changes but I just can’t do it. 

I will instead think about how fabulous my new purple hair looks and go watch 30 rock instead. 

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