Do you remember last year when I bought the we vibe?
Well I can’t say I’ve given it much love lately. The poor thing had fallen victim to my post consumerism abandonment with a long dead battery and a darkened home in my nightstand drawer. I felt badly for it not being able to fulfill its dreams of being a pleasure powerhouse so I charged it up. I was only thinking of it. I’m a real giver, you’re welcome we vibe.
Despite my initial lack of success with it being inserted, I wanted to give it another chance. It’s smart, it knows what it’s doing. Fuck, it really knows what it’s doing. After several minutes of steady work I quickly realized that this tiny little miracle robot was about to make me feel things I’ve never felt before.
I’ve heard of the G-spot before, I’m pretty sure I even tried to poke at it once with my finger (because that’s how it works right?!) The science is still out on whether or not it actually exists (I’d like to become an orgasm scientist when I grow up) but I can proudly say I know it exists. It’s a wonderful place where warm smiles can buy you a hundred unicorns and at least a dozen cupcakes. Rainbows glimmer overhead of moustached men rubbing each other with tanning oil. Yes, this is the most magical comparable I can come up with.
My vibe was about to take me somewhere incredible. I knew it was happening, I could feel it was different. Deeper, slower, more intense. I couldn’t stay quiet even if I wanted to. The vibe had taken over and I was at its mercy. The sensations were building and unstoppable until my body could take no more.
I’m thinking of changing my Facebook status to “in a relationship” with we-vibe.