This post is not about my thoughts on sex, this post is about the thoughts that come into my head while having sex. Unfortunately for me my brain is overactive all of the time. This is why I have difficulty sleeping and paying attention during long meetings. It is also a factor in why I have a hard time reaching organ.Thanks anxiety! You’re the best! Well, here are tonight’s highlights:
- He’s doing this because he feels guilty about not knowing me well enough to buy the right snacks.
- I could crush his skull with my thighs right now. He’d probably stop though so I better not.
- I could box his head with my feet like one of those small hanging punching bags. Hehe.
- I should have shaved my legs this morning.
- I shouldn’t have had that lemonade before bed. My stomach is making sloshing noises. Shit it’s loud. He doesn’t seem to care.
- Do I have to fart? Maybe the sloshing will mask the sound if one sneaks out.
- He doesn’t know I have a melatonin under my tongue. I hope we’re not having sex for so long that I start to fall asleep.
- Must block his tongue from my mouth, he might get some melatonin on him and fall asleep. That’s stupid and impossible.
- It doesn’t matter how much you spend on a bed, it’s always going to make noise during sex.
- It feels like his penis is poking through my stomach.
- Where is my t-shirt? I don’t want to get cum on the carpet. Again.
- Fluffy carpets are so ugly but they feel so much nicer.
- I should write about this in my blog. *process of recapping and embedding all the above thoughts into my memory begins.
- It’s cold in here, we’re going to have to turn the heat on soon.
- I’m sloshing again.
- (*hair pulling) that’s good.
- I’m having a hard time thinking of anything else now. I must really like that since it’s all I can focus on.
And there we have it, the summarized version of what it’s like having sex with anxiety. It’s much like the live version of the show Herman’s Head without the comedy writers and fantastic 90’s theme song.