How quickly two years goes by when you’re caught up doing adult things like working, laundry and falling into the dark bottomless pit of modern day life. All this time I’ve believed that my 2014 and 2015 posts had been deleted from the world forever but I have just learned that I was wrong. The internet is forever. All my crazy lows and personal thoughts, right there were I left them laid out in black and white inside those clear cat tubes. I won’t delete them, but I’m choosing to ignore them and just let them go and live in those cat tubes forever. One thing that I have learned these last couple of years is how to let go. Of friendships that weren’t meant to last, of thoughts that were unhealthy, and now, of black and white pieces of my past floating in cyberspace.
On the soon to be eve of a New Year I have realized that I’m going to be 40. Although I can’t say I’ve ever felt particularly like an adult there’s something about 40 that screams adulthood. WRINKLES! WEIGHT GAIN! RETIREMENT PLANNING! GRUNTING EVERY TIME YOU GET OUT OF A CHAIR! This can’t be 40. This can’t be my 40.
Apparently I have 294 more days until I will turn 40. I don’t like math so I won’t do the calculations but I believe that online counter is wrong. Surely I must have more time left than that. I intend to spend that time focused on my happiness, health and personal projects (yet to be determined). I want to be excited about life and have stories to tell.
I think 294 might be right. Oh God.